


The Pitter Patter of Little Feet (Part 1)

by Calico_21



Series: Starting Out [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Adoption, Baby, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Kids are scared of Rin, M/M, Makoto wants a kid, Multipart, Parenthood, Rin thinks its because of his teeth, insecure rin, stressed Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6575416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calico_21/pseuds/Calico_21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parenthood isn’t all that easy- even before the kid arrives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pitter Patter of Little Feet (Part 1)

‘Rin?’

Rin should have spotted the signs just from that one sentence. He should have picked up on Makoto’s nervousness from the quiver in his voice, or the way Makoto was pacing up and down their living room, but he had been busy typing on his phone, replying texts from his manager and had failed to notice anything out of the ordinary.

‘Hm?’ He asked nonchalantly.

'I was thinking of adopting a kid.’

Now that caught his attention.

Rin’s fingers froze halfway through a text, hovering above the keypad. He swore his heart stopped beating. The silence that followed was deafening.

'What?’

'I want a child, Rin.’ Makoto had his head down, avoiding Rin’s gaze and his voice and posture was the epitome of vulnerability. 'I want to start a family with you.’

'Makoto…’

'I’ve been thinking about it for a while. And I mean, we’ve already been married for two years now.’ Makoto looked up and met Rin’s gaze. 'Maybe we should take our marriage to the next level.’

It was unexpected. Especially coming from Makoto.

It would be a lie to say that it didn’t catch Rin completely off guard. He blinked, still a bit shocked, and put down his phone. 'Makoto, I didn’t know you felt that way.’

'I love you Rin. And I want this to be something special between us.’ Makoto tentatively took a step forward. 'I want it to be something that grew from our love and our bond.’

Rin felt his heart catch in his throat; he felt the pinpricks of tears forming and he hastily blinked it back. Trust him to start getting emotional at a time like this.

'Makoto, I-I don’t know…’ Rin said, 'Raising a kid is a lot of responsibility and work and I’m not sure if we’re ready for that kind of commitment yet.’ ~~I’m not sure if I’m ready.~~

'Oh…’ Makoto’s shoulders drooped at that statement; the twinkle of hope in his eyes disappeared. 'I understand Rin. I’m sorry for bringing it up.’

Seeing his boyfriend’s crestfallen, on-the-verge-of-tears expression, Rin felt something snap within him and in an instant, he was up and stopping Makoto from walking away. 'Makoto, just…just give me time alright? I promise I’ll think about it.’

Makoto’s eyes widened and in a flash, Rin was enveloped into his boyfriend’s embrace. Warm hands circled around his waist and held him tight.

'Thank you.’ Makoto whispered.

——-

Rin didn’t know what was holding him back. It wasn’t as though he and Makoto were financially unstable. Rin’s work paid enough to buy them a decent-sized house, and Makoto’s pay wasn’t too far behind. And it wasn’t as though they lacked space- their house was big enough to have about another two occupants in it.

Okay, so maybe it was a lie-if he chose to be honest with himself, a part of Rin did knew what was holding him back.

It was simply the fact that Rin was not good with kids.

Well, with the exception of Gou, his little sister, of course. When their dad had passed away, Rin took it upon himself to watch over her. But it wasn’t as though he fed and bathed her when she was a toddler- he simply looked out for her and made sure that boys did not constantly disturb her. And it wasn’t as though he fulfilled his role as a brother completely- he had left her without a text or an email when he had went to Australia. And the thought still gnawed at him like a worm in an apple’s core.

Children were a different case for Rin. They were new, uncharted territory. It was much easier for Makoto, he grew up taking care of Ren and Ran most of the time, not to mention that his work basically involved kids.

Rin wasn’t that lucky.

He couldn’t understand the reason why kids always looked as though they were going to start crying when he approached them.

Children may not like Rin, but it didn’t mean he disliked them.

No one would have guessed, but Rin really liked children. He liked taking care of children- though he was hardly good at it; he liked the way they seemed to find excitement in every little thing. He enjoyed listening to them and seeing that innocent glint in their eyes as they talk about something they’re passionate about.

It reminded him of himself when he was a kid.

He tried to come up with different reasons why he suffered from such an unfortunate fate.

Maybe he just had a scary face when he didn’t smile. Or maybe it his aura was intimidating.

Or maybe it was because of his teeth.

Last week, Makoto had asked him if he could come over to Makoto’s workplace to help out with the kids and their swimming, seeing as Rin was so much more experienced in the field. (Rin suspected that Makoto was subtly trying to sway him about the adoption matter). Rin had agreed, of course, and by Saturday after his interview, he had dropped by.

'Now everyone, I want to introduce a very good friend of mine. His name is Rin Matsuoka, but you will refer him to Matsuoka-sensei. He’s going to help out with class today. If you have any questions, you can ask him, as Rin here is a well-known Olympic swimmer and that was why I asked him to come today- so he can help you with anything that you’d want to improve.’

'Yo.’ Rin waved and grinned.

Yet instead of talking about the fact that Rin was a well-known Olympic swimmer (as they always do) or even greeting him in that matter, the kids shrunk back the minute he smiled, looking absolutely terrified.

'Why are your teeth like that?’ A boy raised his hand to ask.

Rin’s mind went blank- how could it not?- and for a second, he was unable to think of a coherent response. 'Uh…Well I was born with it, I guess.’

'I don’t like it, it’s scary.’ A little girl whispered to her friend but apparently it was loud enough for both Rin and Makoto to hear.

'Okay that’s enough.’ Makoto intervened with a firm voice. 'Go do your warm-ups and we will start.’

When the kids had dispersed, Makoto turned to Rin. 'Hey, are you okay?’ Upon seeing Rin’s expression, Makoto gently placed a hand on the junction of Rin’s shoulder blades. It would simply look like a friendly gesture to any passerby, but Rin could feel Makoto’s fingers gently soothing the skin there. 'I’m really sorry about them. Don’t take it to heart, they didn’t mean it, I’m sure.’

Rin tried to hide his hurt behind a nonchalant shrug. 'Nah, it’s alright.’

He tried to put the comment behind him. It wouldn’t have been the first time people had talked about his teeth, it just took him by surprise this time, that’s all. And anyway, they were just kids being curious right?

And yet, the whole time he was there, the children had shrunk back from him whenever he reached out to help with their strokes, choosing to go to Makoto instead. Makoto had noticed this of course, and he tried to get them to interact with Rin by assigning a child to him once in a while. Rin was grateful for that, but it didn’t really help the situation. Every kid he was paired up with did not even try to talk to him and once they were done, swam as far as they could from him.

To summarize the whole thing in Rin’s words- it was shit. And he certainly felt like it by the time class ended. If Makoto was trying to convince Rin about the whole adoption thing, he would need to work harder because his first plan certainly backfired.

——-

'Two cotton-candies coming right up!’

'I still can’t believe you’ve volunteered to work a stall in this fair.’ Makoto said, all the while watching Gou bustling about behind the stall.

There was a fair in town, and Gou had invited both her brother and Makoto, along with the rest of the group. They had bumped into Haruka and Sousuke not long after they arrived; both of them were in lined for one of the rides. Nagisa and Rei were nowhere to be found though.

'Hey, you’re saying that as though volunteering work is not something I would usually do.’

'It’s not.’ Rin teased.

'You’re just unhappy because Seijuro’s the one who asked me to help out.’ Gou leaned against the counter and raised a challenging eyebrow. Beside her, the cotton candy machine buzzed and hummed to life.

'Tch, it had better be just this fair you’re giving him a helping hand in.’ Rin muttered, though he wasn’t sure if Gou had heard him. He was only partly joking- if Seijuro dared place so much as a finger on his little sister, he would have to castrate his former swim captain’s balls off and put them in a blender. Captain or not, Seijuro was still considered a boy. A boy who was dangerously close to breaching the no-boys-within-50-mile-radius policy that Rin had on Gou.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Seijuro came bustling into the stall, carrying a bunch of boxes in his arms. Rin’s eyes narrowed because -what the heck- Seijuro and Gou were even wearing matching outfits.

Makoto greeted Seijuro and they began chatting while the latter went about completing orders.

Rin glanced around and his gaze dropped to the little toddler in a pram beside their stall. The woman- supposedly his mother- was talking on the phone and she didn’t notice as Rin bent down to take a closer look at the kid. The kid was cute- he looked to be about a year old and he had the biggest puppy dog eyes that Rin had ever seen.

However, those eyes immediately started to water right after Rin smiled at him. Rin’s eyes widened and he backed up before he could experience the kid bawling. The woman hung up and turned her attention to the pram. Rin could hear the first sounds of crying already; he quickly turned away. A ball of guilt and growing despair settled on his chest.

'Here you go.’ Gou handed them both pink cotton candy.

'Thanks Gou.’ He faintly registered Makoto’s voice in the background.

'Rin, you alright?’ Makoto asked, concern flitting across his features when he glanced over. Rin figured he must have looked pretty awful to have Makoto notice.

'Yeah…’ Rin said. And as if to reassure himself more than Makoto, he said in firmer tones. 'Yeah, I am.’

——-

'Hey Rin?’ Makoto said one night when they were snuggled under the covers. Makoto had his arm wrapped around Rin’s waist; Rin’s back was pressed against his husband’s chest; he could feel the crook of Makoto’s chin pressed softly above his head.

'Hm?’

'Both my parents are heading out tomorrow evening; they’ve asked if I could drop by to look after the twins. Haru was supposed to go with me, but something came up, so I was wondering if you would like to come with me?’

Rin was determined to not get affected by this whole kid thing-it was silly-and yet he couldn’t help but tensed when he heard that. He wasn’t sure if Makoto had felt it. He sure hoped not.

He gave himself a mental lecture. These were Makoto’s _siblings_. He’s met them before- though not personally, it was mostly events like joining the Tachibanas for dinner. And besides, Ren and Ran were way past the little kids’ age already right? So why was he still so nervous?

This was getting out of hand. Ever since Makoto had first brought up the topic of kids, Rin felt as though his world was falling apart. Everywhere he went, he saw kids running around, babies in strollers… It was like he couldn’t stop noticing. And he realized that he was hyperaware of all the reactions he got from kids he tried interacting with. It was just stupid. Before this whole thing, Rin had always known about his lack of parental skills but he wasn’t this affected by it.

'Yeah sure, why not?’ To give him some credit, Rin did try to sound enthusiastic, even though he could feel the dread creeping up his stomach. But this was for his boyfriend so he was going to suck it up and do it. 'It’s my day off tomorrow anyway.’

'Thank you, Rin.’ He felt Makoto press a soft kiss to his temple and his anxiety and fears momentarily evaporated.

———

'Onii-chan!’ Two figures darted out of the hallway the moment Makoto and Rin both stepped in and launched themselves at Makoto. If it were anyone else, the force would have plummeted them straight to the ground but Makoto barely moved. The twins clung to each of his legs. Even though they were older now, they still treated their big brother the same way.

'Ren, Ran. It’s good to see you guys again.’ Makoto laughed as he tried to peel the both of them off his legs.

'Onii-chan, we’ve missed you.’ Ren said, looking up at Makoto with the most adoring expression. 'You don’t come home so often anymore.’

'I’m sorry guys, I’ve just been a bit busy on my schedule.’

'Hey, you brought Rin-chan along!’ Ran said, finally noticing Rin who was standing behind Makoto.

'Rinrin!’

Rin mentally cursed Nagisa for influencing the twins with that stupid nickname.

'Yo, what’s up kiddos?’

‘I’ve got a new racing game we can try out.’ Ren tugged at his brother’s arm to the living room.

‘Rin’s really good with video games, you know, maybe you can try competing with him.’ Makoto suggested and to Rin’s uttermost relief, Ren actually looked up at him and smiled.

‘Onii-chan, did you know that I’ve actually beaten Ren in our last match?’ Ran boasted, puffing out her chest in pride.

‘No, you didn’t.’ Ren said sulkily.

‘Yes, I did. You’re just a sore loser.’

‘Now now, no arguing.’ Makoto lectured. ‘Especially not in front of Rin.’

‘It’s okay, Rin’s not a guest.’

‘Yeah, Ren’s right!’ Ran jumped on the couch and grabbed the controllers. ‘Rin’s family.’

Rin was sure he was gaping by this point. He felt a rush of warm relief flood over him. Maybe he wasn’t completely hopeless after all.

They ended up playing video games for two hours. Rin had actually pulled back at the last minute to let Ren win, pretending that his car had malfunctioned. But seeing the happy look on Ren’s face in the end, made it worthwhile.

Then while watching movies, Ran had complained about how her hair was getting in the way and how hot it was, so Rin volunteered to braid it for her.

'You can braid?’ Makoto exclaimed, looking at his boyfriend as though Rin had told him he took ballet lessons as a kid.

'Well yeah, it’s no big deal. I used to do it for Gou when she was little.’ Rin shrugged, his fingers skillfully weaving strands of Ran’s hair together. It wasn’t long before Ran’s hair was tied into a perfect French braid.

'That’s beautiful!’ Ran said, running her hands down her hair. 'Thank you Rin-chan!’ She leaned over and gave him a hug.

If Rin weren’t so busy trying to hide his flustered face, he would have spotted Makoto looking over at them with a soft smile.

——-

Three weeks.

That was how long it took since Makoto’s suggestion, for Rin to make up his mind. After a busy day of photoshoots and interviews, Rin came home exhausted to the bone but his mind was set on one thing, and one thing only.

'Mako.’ He called, sitting on the couch, wringing his hands nervously.

'Hey, you must be tired.’ Makoto walked into the living room, taking off his apron. 'Good thing I’ve cooked green curry for dinner-’

‘Mako.’

‘And I’ve even bought some desserts on the way home-‘

'Makoto.’

Maybe it was something about his tone or the way he said Makoto’s full name, either way, it made Makoto stopped short.

'Rin?’

'I…I was thinking about what you said.’ Pause. Rin cleared his throat awkwardly. 'About the adoption.’

Another pause.

'I think we should give it a chance.’

'Do you…really think so?’

Rin looked up at that. He felt an uncomfortable lump in his throat. 'Makoto,’ he stood up. 'I’m sorry for making you doubt my intentions. It’s not that I didn’t want a child with you. Or anything of me doubting our love.’

He broke off, searching for words. He was never good at expressing himself through verbal communication, usually choosing anger as an alternative. But this was not the time to be angry and he knew that.

'I’m scared, Makoto.’

Makoto’s eyebrows shot up. Rin figured he certainly did not expect that.

'I’m scared I won’t be a good-enough parent.’

'Oh, Rin…’ Makoto stepped forward.

'I mean, look at me! Kids cry at the sight of me. What if our own kid is scared of me too? And what about my job? I’m constantly traveling everywhere, I don’t want to be the kind of parent that misses out on important events and stages of my kid’s life. And I don’t even know a thing about parenting!’ Rin tugged at his hair in frustration. 'This isn’t a game- it’s a kid’s future. I don’t know if I can -’

He broke off again in short gasps this time, and before he knew it, Makoto’s arms were around him and all he could smell was his boyfriend’s woodsy scent as it encased him in a comforting cocoon. He vaguely heard sobbing from a distance.

In hindsight, he was crying.

He didn’t realized how much this whole thing had been bothering him; the extent of how much he was concerned with it.

'Shh…’ Makoto stroked his hair softly. 'It’s okay…it’s okay.’

When the sobs subsided, Makoto took both of Rin’s hands in his. Staring down at their intertwined fingers, he said softly, 'I’m sorry. I never took into consideration of how you would feel about this whole thing. I was selfish-all I thought about was myself. I never saw your struggles, or be there for you when you needed me.’

'Makoto, you couldn’t be selfish even if you tried.’ Rin scoffed, still sniffling, to which Makoto laughed softly.

'Rin, I just want you to know that if we’re taking a chance at this, I will be there for you the whole way. And we’ll do this together. I know we don’t know much about parenthood, but who does when they’re first starting out? It’s a learning process. It’s a big leap and I know- it’s scary. I’m scared too. But the thought of doing this without you by my side scares me even more. It’s not going to be easy, but I know we can do this Rin.’

'Alright.’ Rin tightened his fingers with Makoto’s. 'We can do this.’

——

When they brought home Tadashi three weeks later, he was only two months old- a little infant wrapped in a blanket. His eyes were still closed asleep, and his little nose was as small as a button.

He was small but seeing him in Makoto’s arms made him look even tinier in comparison.

At the time when they went to the adoption centre, they didn’t really planned whether they wanted a girl or boy. They mutually agreed that they were fine with any gender. The caretaker had brought them around -they were both relieved that the place was in good condition- and introduced them to kids of various ages. When they visited the last room, the caretaker had explained that they only had a few babies in the place, if that was what Rin and Makoto were searching for.

There were three babies in the nursery. Two were sound asleep in their cots. They had both expected the third baby to be asleep too but when Rin peered over the third cot, he was met with a pair of stunning grey eyes staring back at him. The baby in the cot looked at Rin the whole time, all the while sucking his thumb, never once breaking his gaze. And when Rin smiled and cooed at him, the little darling’s face broke into the widest smile and he immediately started flailing his arms about, gurgling.

And that was the exact moment Rin made up his mind.

'Makoto, I want to adopt him.’

Makoto smiled. 'Me too. He’s beautiful.’

He was beautiful- so beautiful it made Rin’s heart ached when Rin looked at him. And when Makoto signed the adoption papers, Rin felt like he was in a dream. He couldn’t believe the little angel in his arms was officially his and his husband’s to love and to take care of.

The caretaker had let them know of the baby’s background story, which personally wasn’t much to tell. Tadashi was found on the doorstep of the adoption centre (as most babies were) in a cardboard box and a note with his first name and day of birth about a month ago.

Rin felt his husband tensed when they were told the news and honestly he couldn’t blame him. Tadashi would only be about one month old from birth when he was ripped away from the life he should have had; the family he should have known.

The news only spurred the protectiveness and love Rin had first felt when he laid eyes on the child. He silently vowed to love Tadashi with all his being and to put Tadashi’s needs before his own in every matter. He could tell his husband felt the same way.

A week after they went and visited the adoption centre and decided on adopting Tadashi, they had took about another week to prepare the nursery and to learn about the basic skills of how to take care of a baby before actually bringing home the baby. Rin had to admit; they did a pretty good job. The room was painted a soothing light shade of green adorned with white furniture. They had bought simple baby clothes, diapers, baby bottles, toys and milk powder.

And now, looking at the little baby- their little baby- entering the house for the first time, Rin couldn’t help but feel that a small of him was complete.

'Welcome to your new home, Tadashi.’

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Make sure to leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it (:


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